Thursday, February 10, 2011

Trapped


My physical pain is becoming more excruciating every day. My skin hurts, I can't stand my clothes touching me, the blankets on me at night. I can't take a shower even with the lightest spray, anyone touching me, especially to rub my arm or back.

Eating is becoming more difficult. Most foods hurt going down then cause stomach and abdominal cramping. I'm losing weight I'm sure. Even soft foods, they go down but the cramping starts. Nothing tastes really good anymore but I'm so hungry. I eat even knowing how much I'll suffer but it doesn't seem to be enough. Constipation is a major problem. Taking all of the vitamins and minerals is making my esophagus very tender and sore. I'm pretty sure this is all due to the sjogrens and IBS.

My muscles cramp. I'm pretty sure a tendon in my ankle has torn after a severe cramp one night, too much walking aggravates it. The back muscle cramping makes me feel like I'm having chest pains, it radiates.

My bones hurt. Everywhere.

My joints are sore and very tender to the touch and more with use.

I'm not sleeping well, waking up almost every hour during the night. I can't always fall asleep during the day for more than an hour. I'm so tired.

I'm emotional. Sad, scared, confused, forgetful, angry, numb, lost.

Trapped....in a body that's broken, worn out, attacking itself. No one should ever have to suffer this way. No one.  

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